1. Introduction

Now everyone knows I have a thing for girls that have a little hard body. With that said I finally figured out where all the hot chicks with nice rock abs and toned muscle hang out at. Whole Foods. That’s right freaking Whole Foods, where they sell organic / expensive groceries. Yeee aint know (you were not currently informed of this)? Honestly I’m really pissed off nobody ever told me about this underground hot chick hangout. The thing is you’ve got to go between 7 & 9 when their just getting out of their gym, yoga or spinning classes. Now how did I stumble among this orgy of hotness?

2. Dating Girl Next Door

Well, the last three weeks I’ve been drinking nothing but pure pineapple juice to get my skeet sweet for the ladies, VK cares about the ladies. Needles to say I’ve been staking out the Whole Foods in my new neighborhood. You know they hand out free shit there! Like wine sampling and cheese! That’s way better than the ghetto mart I usually go to. The best thing there, is the latino women breast feeding their seven year olds in the check out line. But I can’t front shit’s kinda hot.

3. Single Girls

Moving on the next thing you’ll notice is the lack of straight males. Matter of fact, there were no minority males in the whole place, I was the only one. For serious. Last time I was there some Nicole Scherzinger (ex lead singer from the Pussy Cat Dolls) look alike, thinking I worked there, asked me where she could find fresh prunes. I was so shocked by her hotness I spaced and just said aisle 5 on the left next to bottled mangoes. So this is where hot chicks go to escape being hollared at by aggressive bald black guys who grab butts and then giggle to themselves in the Pillsbury doe boy voice. Wait what?

4. Dating Personals

Now what you need to do to pick up a Whole Foods chick is chill at the organic yogurt/ cottage cheese section, right. Then when a hot one comes a long, tell them you’re about to start an intense 8 week yoga class and ask which yogurt would they recommend to help you increase energy and flexibility while helping you find your center. You see that, it looks like you’re trying to be all enlightened and shit, Whole Food chicks dig that.

5. Conclusion

What I suggest you don’t do though is make a “free all natural meats sample” sign and then place your penis in a hot dog bun. For some reason this is seriously frowned upon by hot Whole Food chicks. Besides it’s even more embarrassing when they look at you puzzled and ask why there’s a hair in the bun. So there you have it. You want to know where the hottest women with the best bodies hangout? Whole Foods! I’ma (I’m going to) tell you like a player told me, go ahed down and cop (get) you one. I’m seriously pissed no one told be about all the sillies they’ve got running around there two years ago.